“This film has the power to be the pivotal tipping point in awareness and action for those suffering with PTSD.”

Cynthia Simon Arndt M.B.A, M.A., SAIC Behavioral Health Researcher -Mental Health Stigma Reduction Expert

 

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To affect social change by using art to build awareness, create identification and instigate healing.

Searching for Home: Coming from War will show THE TRUTH of our veteran’s journey. But unlike “the media” we will not stop there. We will create awareness and identification thus reducing stigma so those that need help can seek THE HEALING they deserve. We will relentlessly tell the story of THE HOPE that many so desperately need.

This powerful documentary is only part of the Searching For Home story. It is the goal of everyone on and behind the project to also create a life-saving, cross-platform outreach effort, aimed squarely at reaching–and healing– thousands of suffering veterans and their families at the national, regional and local levels.

An accomplished actor, Anthony Edwards is known as Dr. Mark Greene on the hit series ER and for his memorable turn as “Goose” in the blockbuster feature Top Gun. Edwards has received four Emmy nominations for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series, won three Screen Actor’s Guild Awards (Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Drama Series in 1996 and Best Ensemble Cast in 1998 and 1999.) He won the Golden Globe Award in 1998. He has received two Emmy Awards as Executive Producer one for the Outstanding Children’s Special ,“My Louisiana Sky.” And another as executive producer on HBO films critically acclaimed Temple Grandin. Edwards will next be in the new ABC series, “Zero Hour.” In addition, theatrically, he was in Rob Reiner’s new film Flipped and can be seen in Motherhood with Uma Thurman and Zodiac, directed by David Fincher. Other recent credits include Thunderbirds for Universal, the Polish brothers’ Northfork for Paramount Classics and Don’t Go Breaking My Heart, which he executive produced in association with his production company. The company also produced the NBC telefilm, Borderline, starring Sherry Stringfeld. Edwards also served as producer for the feature, Die Mommy Die. Born and raised in Santa Barbara, CA, Edwards is the youngest of 5 children. Edwards is currently philanthropically involved with Shoe4Africa (shoe4africa.org), a charity that is building a children’s hospital in Kenya.

Bruce Spears – Producer

Over the last 20 years Bruce Spears has produced and assistant directed music videos, commercials, feature and documentary films; managing  multi-million dollar production and post-production budgets in over 25 countries.  In 2002 Bruce worked with Mr. Christiansen to produce and assistant direct portions of  Homecoming: A Vietnam Vet’s Journey.  In addition he and Eric produced a string of highly successful national television spots for Rembrandt toothpaste through Christiansen’s  EC Productions.  Bruce is currently Producing “Searching For Home, Coming Back From War”.  He has been on the team from day one and is a committed team member and advocate for this very important and needed project.

Eric Christiansen – Director/Editor

Emmy Award-winning director, Eric Christiansen, is a recognized chronicler of loss, grief recovery and the complexities facing returning veterans. Eric produced and directed the Emmy-honored film Faces in the Fire, an up-close depiction of survivors’ recoveries following disaster. His critically acclaimed film, Homecoming: A Vietnam Vets Journey, tells a story of healing 35 years in the making. The New York Times called it, “a surpassingly worthy and touching film.” Eric’s work for public television work includes shows underwritten by AT&T, Staples, and the critically acclaimed Photographing America underwritten by Fuji Film. He has also edited/post-supervised programs for TLC (The Learning Channel) and The Discovery Channel. Eric also served as editor and post-production supervisor for the 70mm Imax feature film “The Greatest Places” Cinemania Online wrote “…intelligent and at times visionary, editing decisions.” As a commercial director, Eric produced all national television spots for Rembrandt Toothpaste through its successful sale in 2008. Commercial clients include: Atlantic Records, Ogilvy & Mather, and Grey Advertising. Eric is a Seven-time Southwestern Region Emmy Award recipient, Eric also received an International Monitor Award for Best Director and Silver and a Gold Award from the Houston International Film Festival. For more information, visit www.ecproductions.com or see Film Appendix.

Jeremy Crosby Psy. D.- Clinical Consultant

Dr. Jeremy P. Crosby specializes in the treatment of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and earned his degree in Clinical Psychology from Indiana State University. He received specialized training in the treatment of PTSD and trauma-related disorders at the VA Medical Center in Lexington, Kentucky. Dr. Crosby actively teaches and provides clinical training to students, serving as an adjunct instructor at Friends University in Wichita, Kansas. In 2008, Dr. Crosby’s first book was published, titled A Mind Frozen in Time: A PTSD Recovery Guide. It is a guide to recovery from PTSD that’s utilized by clinicians and patients alike in treatment clinics throughout the United States and the world. “A Mind Frozen in Time” details symptoms, coping skills, and healing actions for individuals who are struggling with psychological trauma. Former US Senator and veterans advocate, Max Cleland said of the book, “The principles in this book…should be read and absorbed by everyone who has been to war.” Although originally intended for military veterans and their families, the PTSD themes and principles utilized apply to most types of traumatic experiences and their effects and is widely used as a resource. Today, Dr. Crosby is a popular speaker, teacher and seminar leader on PTSD and trauma-related conditions for both professional and lay audiences.

John McKee in Vietnam

In Early December 1967, I arrived in Vietnam  at Tan Son Nhut Air Base outside of Saigon.  Originally on orders to 25^th Infantry Division, I was reassigned to 4^th Infantry Division in Pleiku due to recent losses the 4^th had suffered at the Battle at Dak To (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Dak_To).

After processing in at 4^th ID Base Camp (Enari) just to the South of Pleiku, I was assigned as platoon leader, 3^rd Platoon, Delta Company, 1^st Battalion, 22^nd Infantry Regiment, and joined my platoon at Dak To 18 December 1967  In-country orientation was over on 30 January 1968 when the infamous “Tet Offensive” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tet_Offensive) was launched by the Vietcong and North Vietnamese Army.  It was in the hills North of Kontum City that I finally came face-to-face with a NVA soldier, and when he was lying there dead on the ground, and I could see that he was probably only a young teenager, my heart went out to his mother in North Vietnam who did not know that she no longer had a son.  I remember weeping in my poncho tent that night.  The next day, one of our own was shot and killed by an NVA who was ultimately killed himself and was in possession of one of our M-16 rifles.  To my mind that “evened the score”, but that was just my survival instincts kicking in and the beginnings of what would become my protective shell.

After Tet, our battalion had a little stand-down to rest and regroup at a hastily constructed firebase just South of Kontum on the road leading to Pleiku.  Our company’s First Sergeant was due to rotate home, and was headed back to Camp Enari. A land mine, that the entire convoy ahead of him had somehow avoided, exploded right below First Sergeant William Royal McGee.  We rushed to the scene, but our hope of rescue became the chore of collecting parts of Sgt. McGee.  More bricks added to that protective shell…

On 22 April 1968, my point man on a patrol I was leading encountered a NVA patrol and engaged them with his M-16.  The NVA return fire mortally wounded him.  We were able to break contact and got him Med-Evac’d.   Upon reaching our company’s patrol base, we learned that Herbie died enroute to the 71^st Evac.  More bricks added to the shell…

The rest of my tour was spent at Battalion Headquarters working at S3-Air, S-4 and a brief stint as Recon Platoon Leader.  I rotated to CONUS 16 November 1968, and finished my enlistment at Fort Benning training more troops to be sent to Vietnam.  April 1969 saw me returning to civilian life where all my friends were doing drugs.    I eagerly joined in, not understanding why at the time, but theorized later that I was wracked with survivors guilt and was on a destructive downward spiral.  The next 38 years saw me jumping from one job to another, marrying three times and divorcing 3 times.

The “Run for the Wall” as chronicled in the film “Homecoming: A Vietnam Vets Journey”.

In December 2005, one of my former platoon members sent me a copy of a movie titled “Homecoming:  A Vietnam Vets Journey”,  a documentary directed by Eric Christiansen, featuring four Vietnam Vets who were participating in a motorcycle ride across the United States called Run For The Wall.  In those guys, I saw myself, and I saw the healing they received by finally coming to terms with what they’d done and seen in that land across the pond.  I was particularly taken with JR Franklin talking about how, when driving down the roads here, he’d be transported in his mind back to Vietnam and he’d start looking for likely ambush points.  I’d been there, too…

So, in 2006, I made my first Run For The Wall, and my healing, by being with those who understood what I’d been through, began.  The progress is slow and steady, aided by trusting in God, and an understanding and supportive wife.

Now we have a new crop of warriors coming home from multiple engagements in the sandbox who, like us, think there’s nothing wrong with them…..until, that is, they find themselves in trouble with the law.  They return to a country and communities that do not understand that little Johnny who came marching home is not the same Johnny who went marching off to war.  As JR Franklin told me when I first met him, the Native Americans understood that when a brave went off to battle, he was not the same when he returned.  He was changed irrevocably.  Our warriors need to understand this and accept it as fact.  There’s no forgetting what they’ve seen and done – well, maybe with some chemical help, but that’s getting on the fast lane to destruction.  Sometimes it’s something just as simple as a handshake or a hug with the words “I understand” that will start the healing process.  Some will require more, but they all require some help.

Guest blogger: John McKee

Eric Christiansen’s new documentary “Searching For Home: Coming Back From War” needs our support to aid in this effort to heal our young brave men, and help them, not necessarily to forget, but to acknowledge that they have changed and that there is a life for them.

Help us continue the Healing Click below to contribute what you can to get this film finished:

Searching for Home: Coming Back from War – Kick Starter Campaign

My Dad, Michael J Nairne – Vietnam 67-69 / 1947 – 2012

My Dad, Michael J Nairne was a retired Vietnam Vet. He was there in 1967-69 as a PBR in the Mekong Delta. I never learned about Vietnam in school and it saddens me that my two boys aren’t going to learn about it either.

I can count on one hand how many times my Dad was open to talking about his time served. He was diagnosed with PTSD, however after doing some research of my own he should have been diagnosed with Chronic (complex) PTSD. Each time he spoke about the war it broke him down. He still got nervous when he heard a helicopter, and would have a recurring nightmare that my sister and I took the place of the Vietnamese children that were used for shields.

Like so many, Dad had survivor’s guilt. He also held himself to a higher standard and responsibility to live life to the fullest. Each of life’s disappointments throughout the years impacted him deeply and created more stress. To others that would be a small bump in the road. To Dad it was failure and he simply withdrew.  It was a cycle that would spiral out of control at times causing sleepless nights and great heartache. My boys spent many summer days with him and knew what it meant when he would tell them that Gpa had nightmares the night before. He would be unsettled most of the day and sleep in a chair whenever he could. Yet still through the sleepless nights, he was always up before dawn.  From my teenage years even through my “mom” years, I never understood why he was up so early when he didn’t have to be.  I found out only after he passed that he made a promise to himself to get up before sunrise every day, and watch the sunrise for those who couldn’t any longer.

Pictures I found after my dad’s passing.
Dad, is this what it was like?

My Dad opened up a little more about his time served in Vietnam about a month before we found out he was sick.  He felt like

he owed an explanation for why he wasn’t a perfect Dad when I was growing up. He apologized and asked for forgiveness. Truth of the matter is, my Dad was simply magnetic with a smile that could light a room. He was a gentle soul, never violent and taught me one of the greatest gifts- to communicate (and race fast cars). He had his own demons but looking back he wanted me to be able to do something he couldn’t. My Uncle, an Army “Tunnel Rat” who served in Vietnam after my Dad, told me something when my Dad was in the hospital that I will never forget. He said “Your Dad and I did the best we could to come home from War and lead normal lives.” My Dad had a long history of severe heart issues and on April 5, 2012 he was diagnosed with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia.  Just two months and 2 days later on June 7, 2012, I lost my Dad to a number of complications brought on by the Leukemia and treatments he had. I know my Dad passed with a lot of healing left to do.

Thankful for these pictures. Getting to know my dad. Again…

My hope is through Searching for Home: Coming Back from War, we can bring more awareness and respect for the Vets that have to come home and fit into society while they try to heal from War. It is not our place to try and understand the pain that they have experienced, but it is our place to let every Veteran know they are not forgotten, that when they do speak to you about their time served- it is an honor, and that we are thankful for what they have done for our country.

A Proud Vietnam Vets Daughter,

Cindi Nairne

Cyndi Nairne, Searching for Home guest blogger, with the loves of her life.

Guest Blogger – Cyndi Nairne is an involved single mom. She loves her two boys and dedicates herself to there future. With her dads passing several months ago she has become involved in veteran’s issues. It is her hope to make a difference in vet’s lives in memory of her father.

Guest Blogger : Eric Christiansen – Filmmaker / Director of Searching for Home : Coming Back from War

Why am I doing this film? It is a question I get asked frequently and quite frankly ask myself often.

I know I have been giving many gifts.  A gift of empathy.  I understand these people’s pain and their plight. (Through my own trials and lessons God has taught me this)  I also have a gift of communication. I have been making films since second grade. I guess God has put those two things together, so I can serve others.

Is it easy? No, we have been working on Searching for Home  for four years now. . But my wife and my kids understand and support this as a family mission.

But I know in my heart of hearts this is what I am supposed to do…I guess you can say its my “calling.”

Here is another answer – A letter from a Vet that saw my film, “Homecoming: A Vietnam Vets Journey”:

Thank You,

I went to the wall, I didn’t cry, I didn’t seem to feel a thing. Maybe a little sad ?

I didn’t cry when Mom or Dad died.

I didn’t cry when I lost wives and Kids.

I cried when I watched, Hell I guess I thought I was the lone ranger or something ?

Anyway, thanks, you helped more than anything I have been thru to date.

Ironic, I never thought anyone else felt the same way, or the same things.

-Viet Nam Vet

This blog is a forum for people who have been touched by trauma, their spouses, sons, daughters, friends and family.

We will be choosing guest bloggers to share their experience, strength and hope here

The Truth-

The unexpurgated, raw, truthful view of what happened. The gradual build up or the sudden point of “trauma”, followed by the reality of helplessness and fear.

Often accompanied by a “disembarkation” involving shutting down emotionally as not to feel the intensity of the feelings. This phase is also marked by increasing isolation, real and imagined. This time of “the truth” is a necessary precursor to motivate, through discomfort and pain, the individual to seek healing…

The Healing:

A process of information gathering accompanied by a continued building of awareness. The crux of the healing process is a moment of clarity, not just intellectually but also a shift in your inner most being. A deeper understanding of what has happened occurs with a willingness to admit you have a problem. This is followed by the understanding that you are not alone and others have traveled this path. This catharsis is ideally followed by searching out and engaging in a path/program of recovery.